After two decades of deep depression, endless therapy and medication, I took the plunge and enrolled in a meditation course, despite my complete disdain for anything spiritual and “hippy”. Shortly after my second meditation, I suddenly became acutely aware of the fact that I was not a separate being, suffering through this existence on my own. In that moment I knew two things. The first was that I actually knew nothing at all, and the second, that I needed to find out what this entirely new discovery was all about. I immediately quit my job in corporate real estate, sold my belongings, and left my home country in search of truth, and teachers who could point to it. 

Over the course of five years, I studied relentlessly moving between five countries,  prioritising this hunger for understanding. I inquired into the nature of my being, spent months in silence, and came to find a deep, and unwavering presence at the core of my being and everything that I turn my attention to. While this realisation brought with it an ease, contentment, and joy that I didn’t know to be possible, it also came with waves of deep pain as all of my undigested life experiences came crawling out from beneath the surface.

It started with nagging sensations in my body, the sensations of fear, and anxiety. Restful sleep was hard to get. In hindsight, having support at this stage would have been ideal. Instead, I naively believed the story told in many spiritual circles, that awakening was enough to solve all my problems. Panic attacks and flashbacks suddenly became a part of my life, along with the most visceral fear of abandonment, and the belief that I was unloveable. Some of the unprocessed trauma was so immense that my physical body collapsed under the intensity of the energy, causing significant medical issues and hospitalisation. Over a period of three years, wave after wave of hidden pain came to the surface and I had no choice but to digest and integrate this energy into the experience of Being. This process is not yet complete but with time, this pain has eased and chunks of it have been digested. 

With years of experience in resolving my own misalignments and repressed experiences, I find joy in helping others free themselves from the tension between what we know to be true, and how we express ourselves in the world. I call it, closing the gap. Let’s close the gap between what you are and what your system still believes you’re not.